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Weird Alternatives To Air Conditioners

If you cannot get an air conditioner or the power goes out, how can you stay cool when it’s hot? Well, frankly, that depends on your definition of cool. While the following gadgets will ensure your core temperature doesn’t rise, they will be disastrous for your street cred. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

These shoes really suck

Air conditioned shoes

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If air-conditioned shoes make you this happy then where do I sign?! Look at the sheer force of the icy air coming from those stylish leather loafers. Never again feel the humiliation of hot sweaty feet. Yes, before you ask, these are real and you can pay good money for them. My only concern would be that the suction from the fans would vacuum you to the pavement. Not so cool now, eh?

Ice, Ice Baby 

Ice jacket

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What an innovative idea. While women have the luxury of cool dresses in the office, men have to overheat in a suit jacket and tie. But no longer, oh no, now you can buy the Ice Suit. Or make your own at home in four easy steps. 1) Simply open the freezer, 2) pick up an icepack, 3) deposit it snugly in your inside jacket pocket 4) et voila, instant cool.

i-Cecubetray 

Ice vest

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Apparently these ice vests are used by top athletes to increase their stamina by as much as 20 per cent. Nonsense. The only conceivable reason anyone would don this chilly monstrosity is so they can pretend they’re an extra from i-Robot – we’ve all done it! It looks to me like someone sewed an ice cube bag to a scuba suit.

It’s a hatastrophy

solar powered fan hat

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What’s the one thing you usually have plenty of when it’s hot outside. Sunshine! Yay! So this solar powered cap, which only comes in yellow by the way, is the perfect amalgamation of shade and style. Oh who am I kidding? This is idiotic. While the fan may work, to cool down your face, the hole they’ve had to stick it through renders the whole cap useless! Back to the drawing board guys. Idiots.

Hot under the collar?

cool air con tie

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Now I think you may have to take another glimpse at this little gadget. It’s so subtle no one would ever know you’re wearing a fan. On your neck. You weirdo. Surely if the dress code at work is strict enough that you can’t take you tie off, a miniature circular fan is not going to go down well? More to the point, who wears a tie with a short-sleeved shirt? Bleurgh.

Don’t you hate cold calls?

Iphone aircon

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So the air-conditioning breaks down at work. No problem, you think, I have my handy-dandy iPair-conditioner. Part air-conditioner, part iPhone (if by that you mean not at all like an iPhone) it’s the ultimate emergency item. If all your friends are morons. Why bother disguising an air-conditioner as an iPhone when it’s three inches thick? Who’s going to be fooled by that? Sheesh.

Got cold feet?

Aircon socks

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Why? Just … why? Even if you think the concept is good – a miniature fan that can be plugged into a USB dock – the description if going to have you running for the hills. This device is perfect, according to the manufacturers, for shoving into sweating socks and putrid armpits. Unfortunately, I do not think it is one-use-only. I think I just threw up a bit in my mouth. I’ll stick to the air conditioned shoes thanks very much.

A new kinda sea-cup

Cool Bra

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An ice bra?! Now I’ve seen it all. With the plastic fish and frills I’m not sure if it’s all about fashion or function. Believe it or not this was actually created to encourage people not to turn on their air conditioning. But that’s not all, oh no, it also comes with a miniature fan, a wind chime and some mint leaves so that your senses are as cool as your boobs. I’m sold. What are they making for the men, then?

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